Well...I've never commented on this before. Kim gave birth to our daughter Grace last night at 8:32pm. Once they induced her, Kim was a natural at dialating and giving birth in like 3 or 4 hours(there's nothing my wife isn't great at!) Kim was so strong.
Grace was not a live birth, it felt like she was simply asleep though. I talked to Grace as the nurses and I tried to clean her. Let Grace know how happy I was to meet her and told her how pretty she was. She was so at Peace...
Kim and I spent the night with Grace in our room. I got to help her frail little body pose for pictures at 1am with 2 nurses in a little room. Her left hand felt so compltely alive. I really thought she was clenching my fingers. (She had no defects on... the outside except 6 toes on each foot.) Crazy that it made me feel like I was missing a toe or something. Her poor little organs just didnt work.
Figure I better start talking about these things sooner or later or the stress is going to kill me...starting with my neck. I really feel that Grace wanted to pass away without us watching, to keep that visual from her mother and I. When we did finally get to meet her, instead of watching suffering, we just got to spend time. I love her so much and already miss her.
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Praying for you and Kim and Riley and the rest of your families. Thank you for sharing such honest words. I can't imagine what you must be feeling, but I know Heaven is a little sweeter this week.
ReplyDeleteBobby I am so proud of you for finding an out. Sometimes writing and expressing what is on your mind can help find some relief or peace. As your friends, we are here for you and Kim if you need anything. I wish I could say words or do something to help you or Kim. My heart hurts so much for you, Kim and the whole family. You guys mean so much to me and Bryan. I am happy to know that you were able to hold that precious baby and see what she looked like and know that you and Kim are so strong for enduring those moments. Please let me know if there is anything you need or want. We are here for you and praying for your strength. Love you guys, Bryan and Jaime
ReplyDeletePraying for you all, Thank you for sharing your journey, you've been an inspiration to so many. May your sweet Grace inspire you in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteBobby and Kim,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that baby Grace is no longer with you. I hope you can find peace in knowing she is in the arms of Jesus and she will never feel any pain or sorrow. How sweet that she spent her entire life here on earth cradled in her mommy's tummy before passing on into Heaven.
I lost my first daughter Angeliyah Grace in June of 2007. She also had Trisomy 13 and is on the Treasured Memories page. These first few days are the hardest, as your arms physically ache to hold the little one that you can not hold, and your milk may come in for the little one that you can not nourish. But God is with you and I know He will give you the strength you need just as He did for me.
One of the other mom's from the TM message board shared the following poem a couple years ago...
Tears of Remembrance
There will come a day when the tears of sorrow will softly flow into tears of remembrance and your heart will begin to heal itself and
grieving will be interrupted by episodes of joy and you will hear the whisper of HOPE.
There will come a day when you will welcome the tears of remembrance as a sunshower of the soul; a turning of the tide; a promise of PEACE.
There will come a day when you will risk loving; go on believing; and treasure the tears of remembering.
Author Unknown.
It may sound strange, but I just want to encourage you to treasure these days. Don't shove the sorrow out or down, but embrace it as you embraced the life of your precious Grace. You will never again feel as close to her as you do right now.
Sending you ((HUGS)),
Tami Izzi, Angeliyah's Mommy
But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Through the LORD’S mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."
ReplyDeleteLamentations 3:21
I am so sorry to hear about Grace. I know Jesus has welcomed her into His loving arms and she is learning at His feet this very moment. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers this week. -Katie White (expecting Henry in January who has been diagnosed with Trisomy 13 also)
ReplyDeletestill praying for your family.
ReplyDeletewith love,
lauren
mommy to jonathan
I came across your story looking at the trisomy site. We also live in Chandler and had a baby with trisomy 13.
ReplyDeleteGod has blessed you and your family with your beautiful baby in ways that will unfold throughout your life. My little Joey, like your Grace, died cradled within his mother. Peaceful, never knowing pain. That was over 18 years ago and he has been present in our lives every day since. It was and still is a broken dream and nothing can fill that hole that is left behind. But having known him, even for a brief time within me and having experienced all that I did with the pain of that pregnancy has been a gift in so many ways. His little sister sometimes has dreams of him even though she never knew him. It wasnt the way I wanted it to be. I still have questions for God someday. But I know God had plans for him to be a part of us in a different way. I know he has watched over us, being close to God's ear as a pure and innocent child.
My heart breaks for you knowing that piercing pain. It is hard to understand the rush of emotions. Just know that you will have peace again. You will have your little girl again. And she is happy and smiling knowing that you loved her so much, enough to let God take her in His own time and not before.
I know that I am blessed to be the mother of a child born to be an angel. I have experienced so many unexpected blessings over the past 18 years that I know Joey has been a part of. I will pray for you and your family to have peace and to experience Grace in your daily life.
Dear Kimberly and Bobby,
ReplyDeleteI am Julie, mother of Katie (see above post). Please know that you, like Lauren and Greg (parents of Jonathan) have many people praying for you, as well as a whole family of people who have walked, and are walking, the path that you have taken with Grace. Praying God's grace on you today and in the days to come. Many, many people are being blessed and encouraged by your stories.
Grace's life had (has) meaning.
Much, much love from all of us around the world,
Julie Wilcox
GA, USA
Kim and Bobby,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that we are thinking about and praying for you. I know the pain is so deep as my daughter was born still a month before Grace. I know the road ahead is difficult and will be for sometime, but know many people are thinking of and praying for you. You now have a beautiful angel to watch over you and smile upon you. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to e-mail me at kellyann.hatton@verizon.net.
Kelly
mommy of angel Karrae (treasured memory album)